FUNimation's Take on Further DBZ
by "Skifter95"

Originally Posted: 3 April 2000

-------------------------------------------------

I don't know if you could really call this an editorial, but I am so fed up with some of the crap that they have been doing to DBZ. Especially all these articles suddenly cropping up all over the place, which are all just loads of crap. Then, I saw the new line of "figures with weapons," that just pushed me over the edge. I mean, how can you even call this DBZ??? So, anyway, I decided that I needed to make fun of that evil company and try to get it published where intelligent people will read it. So, here you go, what will FUNimation do if they decide to show more DBZ? Here is a list of "logical" edits.

Androids/Cell Saga
This would need the usual digital band aids that we have all seen on Vegeta and Gokou many times. Nothing really too major in the beginning, except for when #18 breaks Vegeta's arm. That will have to be cut out, but in the next scene he can say, "My arm is broken." Nothing too major until Cell blows up, dialogue will have to be replaced by all "I'm gonna send you to the next dimension!" and things to the effect of that. When Cell returns and causes Gohan to go SSJ2, they may find that the scene is too emotional for American audiences. Then, they will have to strip it of it's all too perfect music and put in some keyboard demonstration. Also, at parts with Mr. Satan, they will have to change his name to something ridiculous like "Hercules" as they did in the Portugese dub. Note that Videl's name will not be changed because they do not expect kids to be smart enough to figure that one out.

(Now we go straight to the Boo Saga because they find that nothing else matters in between)

Boo Saga
One of the more violent parts of DBZ, may need a lot of changes. First things first, all forms of Boo may need to eliminated due to the fact that he is a demon. Demon's suggest that things die, and we all know that's not true. Also, how he destroys Earth just may make him look like a bad guy. One final thing, using your own limbs as weapons and turning people into cookies, while very delicious, is a big no-no In the Majin Vegeta/Gokou fight, his "ring" needs to be eliminated and again, when Vegeta sacrifices himself, it maybe deemed too emotional. But wait, what am I saying? Boo won't exist.

Now, onto the movies! (that I've seen)

Movie 4- I don't think they'll bother showing this one.
Movie 5- Too perfect for words, scrapped by FUNimation
Movie 8- They may get this one by, but in order to do so, they need to play that Toonami "anger management" bit at every commercial. A dialogue change is also needed "Give me power to kill him!" is bad, "Give me power to send him to the next dimension" is good.
Movie 9- More anger management is needed with this one, musc needs to be added in some parts, and Gokou can't teleport from the afterworld. We all know that we don't die!
Movie 11- Broli brought back by a drop of blood?! Forget it, blood is a no-no.
Movie 12- Sorry to say, this needs major changing. The only way to edit this one is to have Gokou, Vegeta, and Janenba wear HFIL T-shirts at all times. Also, in this new version, freeing the spirit world doesn't require cursing. It needs happy words. No more of Pikouhan's potty mouth, now he will be saying "Flower...Sunshine...Dew Drops" (crack crack crack)

Judging by what I just wrote, I better stop and wrap this up. This is what FUNimation needs to do to keep the horde of angry mothers away from accusing them of harming their children's minds.

Contact: Skifter95@aol.com